This happened during a 10-day Vipassana meditation course that I attended. Before telling you the story, let me give you some context about Vipassana, it will help the story. It’s a residential meditation course offered by S.N.Goenka (visit https://www.dhamma.org/). They have multiple meditation courses for 10, 20 and 30 days, all free of cost (donation based). Owing to Buddhism principles, there are some strict guidelines to be followed for those 10 days.
- Meditators should observe ‘noble silence’ – should not speak to anyone for 10 days, only exception being queries to the teacher. Any eye contact should be avoided.
- Meditators can have an alarm clock, water bottle, toiletries and clothes. No gadgets, jewellery, books or anything else.
- No contact with outside world for 10 days. No phone calls were allowed unless emergency.
- Food only twice a day except for elders and pregnant women.
- Wake up bells (yes bells!) at 4AM, sleep by 9.30PM.
- No contact between men & women during the course. Both courses are separated.
So in summary, get up early, meditate all the time till you sleep. It’s tough.
There were many registrations – maybe due to year-end holidays – so a third lady was added into our room originally designed for two people. So two of us had a cot with mattress to sleep on, she (third lady) had only mattress and was sleeping on the floor.
We did not talk to each other for 10 days. Our schedule was almost mechanical. We all had our own alarm clock. Lady on other cot used to get up and get ready first (let’s call her Firsty), followed by me and then the third lady (let’s call her Lasty). So Firsty used to be present early for all meditation sessions, I used to reach on time and Lasty used to skip morning bath and barely manage to reach on time.
Meditation sessions used to go on from 4.30AM till 7PM, followed by a discourse for 1.5 hrs. We had 4-5 breaks in between and one hour of lunch break I guess. We all used to finish lunch within 30 minutes and then just sit somewhere (alone) to pass time. Lasty used to sleep for some time in the room in this break. In fact, whenever I went to the room during breaks (sometimes during self-meditation time), I mostly saw her sleeping.
We start forming opinion about someone right from the instant we see them and it gets refined as the time passes by. Ideally, I had no contact with these two ladies & meditation was overwhelming in itself, so I had no reason to form any opinion about them. But… Has anyone been able to stop the mind from doing what it wants?
I was surely not.
So my perception of Firsty was that of an ideal person – sincere, devoted, calm and other good things. Though I used to get irritated by 3.30AM alarm, I considered that as a sign of timeliness. My perception of Lasty was not that great – lazy, uninterested, barely managing the course. I sometimes wondered if her reason for this course was to take some rest.
10 days passed by and the course ended. After completion of the course, teacher told us that we should feel good about completing the course, not all have completed it. We got to know about some quarrels, some people leaving the course on 4th-5th day and some people not being able to follow ‘no talking’ guidelines.
Then, we were allowed to talk with each other. That’s when I got to know both my roommates.
Firsty was apparently a newly married housewife, who wanted to take control of her anger and subsequent state of mind – that was her reason for the course.
Lasty was a police officer. She had sent her son to children’s Vipassana course earlier and saw difference in him, so she had taken leave and joined the course herself.
So I was partially (or maybe totally, I don’t know) correct about firsty. She was resolute, in fact all of us were, who made through 10 days and felt a difference.
But it also made me realise how incorrect I was about Lasty. Lasty being a police officer, I could imagine how her day would be hectic and unpredictable. So her habit of taking rest whenever possible made so much more sense. She had sent her son and then came for the course herself – which showed her interest and dedication both. It’s difficult for a mother + working woman to take out 10 days in no contact scenario.
I am still in touch with lasty, she is following daily 1 hour meditation even after 6+ years. I have not been able to follow it. She inspires me to start again!
Those 10 days taught me a lot about myself, one of it being not to make judgements about people unnecessarily and surely not to act on those prejudices. Because, you never know, what you will discover about them in due course of time.
I surely understand judgement better now!
ecodhara 