Tag: baby

I understand now..

I understand motherhood better now…

ecodhara

One day, our neighbours visited us to meet our one-month-old baby. Casual conversations led to the challenges with infants. They have a teenage daughter. Reminiscing her childhood, they were explaining how they dealt with those early parenthood challenges.

It’s interesting how all parents have faced similar challenges, dealt with them differently and yet were able to come out of those situations successfully. It amuses me to think that so many babies are born everyday, there are only handful of issues that people face with infants and yet there is no foolproof solution. These problems include baby not sleeping, jaundice after birth, latching issue, feeding difficulties etc.  On the brighter side, these experiences help people connect with each other on a different level.

Amid our conversation my neighbour said, “She (their daughter) is a grown up now. She can even travel on her own.” 

Reflecting on my childhood I replied, “That should be okay, right? I was staying in hostel at her age.”

She responded, “Yeah, I know. She will also go to hostel in a few years.” 

She had accepted it as a fact but I could feel the sadness in her voice. 

First and foremost I regretted my response. So much is taught about good listening etiquette. I am aware that we should avoid comparing anyone’s experience. It doesn’t help the conversation, just ends up making other person uncomfortable. Yet I did it… A lesson to remember.

Also, I realised that I was still thinking as a daughter, not as a mother. I remember when I was in hostel, I used to go home almost every weekend. Even then, if my mother was in town for some office work, she used to visit me in hostel. She would bring me food, fold my clothes, tidy my bed etc. I remember thinking why she has to come to hostel when I would come home on weekend anyway. 

Maybe that day I saw what my mother might have felt and realised why she used to come all the way to meet me. Now she is no more, so I can’t even tell her that I understand her now. 

Guess I can just say that I am starting to understand motherhood now.

With my one month old baby
I understand now.., Uncategorized

I understand teamwork better now

ecodhara

We all understand that childbirth is difficult. Childbirth through normal delivery (NVD) makes the experience even more difficult, with intense labor pain & contractions.

I had a normal delivery. 17 hours of wait in the hospital after my water broke, 2-3 hours of labor pain and I was ready to give birth. I was in great pain, screaming loudly, trying to push the baby out. My gynae was telling me, “Baby’s head is visible. You just have to push a little more and baby will be out in the world”. I was so exhausted that I remember asking the gynae “Can’t you take the baby out? I can’t push anymore.” She just smiled; she was confident that I can.

The labor room was full with women assisting the gynae and me during delivery. There was an anaesthetist amongst them. Just after the conversation above, she told me not to scream or make any sound and push with all my strength during contractions. That advice helped. I was able to push the baby out quickly. 

Later that day, a nurse asked if I received enough help and about overall feedback of delivery process. I told her that my feedback was good and mentioned that the anaesthetist was really nice, her advice helped a lot. The nurse said “Everyone here is good only madam”. I tried explaining why I felt anaesthetist was good, justifying myself.

Later it got me thinking. There were 10-12 women in labor room helping me deliver the baby. Two nurses holding my legs to help me push, gynae making required cut and guiding the baby, duty doctor duly cleaning up and making stitches, three nurses cleaning the baby once out and all of them encouraging me to push the baby out. The chorus of “Push, push, push…” by all those women was filling up the room. It still lingers in my ears whenever I think about the delivery and I remember the confidence it gave me to be able to push through. How could I be grateful to only one lady? 

I recall a story from Ramayana – one associated with building Ram Setu – A bridge supposedly built by Lord Rama between India and Sri Lanka. Rama’s whole monkey army was building the bridge by carrying big rocks in the sea. Meanwhile, there was a squirrel running to & fro across the bridge. She used to carry sand in her fur and put it in crevices between the rocks. Everyone laughed at her seeing her work. Lord Rama recognised her contribution. However small, he said, its making the bridge stronger by closing the gaps; her will and dedication matters. He thanked her by running three fingers on her back. The legend says, thats the day Indian squirrel got three stripes on her back.

Legend aside, story of squirrel strikes me for two reasons. One is obvious – There are always multiple contributions in any project – small and big. Everyone should be recognised for their contribution. I also think that we remember squirrel because there is a story associated with it, which highlights squirrel’s contribution. Surely there would be many others who contributed but we don’t remember them.

I remembered the anaesthetist because her advice helped when I needed it. Also, it was not expected from her – she was anaesthetist – but she did what she thought would help, that made a mark on me. Others may not have given such advice but they were all helpful too. While I appreciate her, I should be grateful to all of them.

When working in a team, everyone may not be visible or be remembered but everyone contributes within their capacity. Dedication matters. Such contributions, though invisible, should be recognised. It’s also evident that if someone goes out of their way to help/make contribution, they will be remembered.

I understand teamwork better now!